Asunto: Jokes

I cant belive you (or we) dont have this topic
I realy woud like to know jokes from your country to see what tipe of humor you have
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At this point i would like to add that there will be explicit words on this topic so i am asking promision from the server autorites (am i not nice and polite :))
All the players are buy thi been warned you enter at your own responsebility
Any swears against people and nations are fixional and just for the joke
If you take this seriusaly you are not welcome here
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If i get bande from the forum because of this pls remember
I killed the Santa :D
(editado)

Here is my first (if not alowed pls say so)
100 ants make a plan to kill the elefant
they klime on to a tree and jump from it when the elefent was under neath
elephant shaked off 99 of them and 1 stayed on his back
so the others routed him on chouk him Mile chouk him

One traditional Norwegian joke:

Why do the Swedes bring a car-door when they're going to the desert?

Because they can roll down the window when it gets too hot :P

One classical Dutch joke:

Why do Belgians always take a knife with them when driving a car?


So they can cut the corners :-P

:)

:)
Why do police man go in par
one knows how to write the other how to read
and why do they go in 3 (didnt know how to write that :))
one knowes how to write and how to read and the other two are protecting the genieus

Typical portuguese jokes:

Do u know how brazilians eat fish??

They cut the fish in 3 pieces and they eat of the one on the half, they absorb the head and they give the butt to the neighbors

MUHAHAHAHAh :|

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Do u know waht the difference between a humble spaniard and the SuperMan??

None of the two exists :D

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Why in Spain they have many premature childbirths??

Well, because nor the spanish mothers tolerate one spaniard for 9 months :P

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Why the spaniard normally won`t get married??

Because they think it`s hard to find someone that love him more than himself...

MUHAHAHA :D

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Main News on the TV diary news Program in Spain:

Portugal and SPain draw today in a Friendly Game: Zero goals to Portugal and zero OUTSTANDING GOALS for SPain...

MUHAHAHAHAHA

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Why in SPain they don`t have any earthquakes??

Because nor the Earth swallow them :D
(editado)

:)
comon now spaniards you got to have a response for that

An ateist joke now :)
whats the diference bitween the pope and the pigion?
There is no diference,
they bouth crap on the balcony
:)

Those jokes are the same all around the world, the only differece is the nationalities.
But i like them, cause we make fun out of spanish and brazilians too. ;)
(editado)

LOLOLOL

:)

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot issensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
"Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down...."
"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

LOL :D
i got a good laugh (Y) :D

LOL :D

LOLOLOLOLOL
great 1 :)

Monday i will tell that joke to my classmates and than im tough man again..:D..Lol..Its superlol joke..Thanks for that good laugh Dahlern :D