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Asunto: Jokes
nice one :D
P.S.
Do you know what Rodeo Sex is?
It's when you mount your woman from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair and pull her head back slightly and whisper in her ear "Your sister was better than you...", and try to hold on for 8 seconds!
P.S.
Do you know what Rodeo Sex is?
It's when you mount your woman from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair and pull her head back slightly and whisper in her ear "Your sister was better than you...", and try to hold on for 8 seconds!
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He`s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, `What`s in the bags?`
`Sand,` answered Juan.
The guard says, `We`ll just see about that. Get off the bike.` The guard detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. He releases Juan and lets him cross the border.A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, `What`s in the bags?`
`Sand,` says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn`t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
`Hey, Buddy,` says the guard, `I know you are smuggling something. It`s driving me crazy. It`s all I think about...Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?`
Juan sips his beer and says, `Bicycles.`
`Sand,` answered Juan.
The guard says, `We`ll just see about that. Get off the bike.` The guard detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. He releases Juan and lets him cross the border.A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, `What`s in the bags?`
`Sand,` says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn`t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
`Hey, Buddy,` says the guard, `I know you are smuggling something. It`s driving me crazy. It`s all I think about...Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?`
Juan sips his beer and says, `Bicycles.`
If you have 3 apples
and Jamal takes two..
..
..
Then what colour is jamal?
(editado)
and Jamal takes two..
..
..
Then what colour is jamal?
(editado)
The jokes about georgians....
Listen! Do you see that tree? Can I take a picture- implied a Georgian guy to a photographer! Of course you can! Where exactly do you want to stand? Underneath, next to or on the tree? - Asked photographer! Georgian replies: "NO! I want to take a picture behind the tree! And send that photo to my mother, so when she sees the picture she won't see me on it and she will be wondering where am I and then I will jump out of the tree and surprise her!
A really hairy Georgian guy is lying on the sofa, tearing his hair off the body and crying and laughing at the same time, while taking the ripped hair and placing it accurately in the bag. What has happened? -Members of family are asking. The guy replies: Georgia has failed to fulfill a quota on fur, so the communists punished us by paying it off with our own hair. Hurts like a bitch! But then I remind myself that Armenia could not fulfill plan on balls (eggs), and that makes me laugh!
A certain Georgian goes to a newspaper headquarters to write a note about the death of his wife! When he gets there he asks about the fee per each word! It turns out that service charges 5 bucks per word. With sad face the guy pulls out a ten-dollar bill and tells a clerk to write two words: Tamara died!" and left the room. Redactor saw a sad face on the man and decided to grant him 5 or 6 extra words for free. Next thing, a happy Georgian guy comes flying into the room to thank the director: Thank you my dear friend! Can you just add to the first two words that I am also selling my car (Zhigyli) and it is in a great condition and looks brand new!
A Georgian brought his son to the sea, because his son has never seen an ocean before. So, they are standing on the seacoast talking. See, my son, this is a sea! Where is it? - Asked the little boy! Right in front of you, my son! -Replies the father. Where is it? I can't see? - Implies the little boy. Here, here it is (pointing right in front of himself) Where? Here, here, here! (the father grabs his boy and wets him with the water) Hey daddy! What was it? It was the sea! - Where?
(editado)
Listen! Do you see that tree? Can I take a picture- implied a Georgian guy to a photographer! Of course you can! Where exactly do you want to stand? Underneath, next to or on the tree? - Asked photographer! Georgian replies: "NO! I want to take a picture behind the tree! And send that photo to my mother, so when she sees the picture she won't see me on it and she will be wondering where am I and then I will jump out of the tree and surprise her!
A really hairy Georgian guy is lying on the sofa, tearing his hair off the body and crying and laughing at the same time, while taking the ripped hair and placing it accurately in the bag. What has happened? -Members of family are asking. The guy replies: Georgia has failed to fulfill a quota on fur, so the communists punished us by paying it off with our own hair. Hurts like a bitch! But then I remind myself that Armenia could not fulfill plan on balls (eggs), and that makes me laugh!
A certain Georgian goes to a newspaper headquarters to write a note about the death of his wife! When he gets there he asks about the fee per each word! It turns out that service charges 5 bucks per word. With sad face the guy pulls out a ten-dollar bill and tells a clerk to write two words: Tamara died!" and left the room. Redactor saw a sad face on the man and decided to grant him 5 or 6 extra words for free. Next thing, a happy Georgian guy comes flying into the room to thank the director: Thank you my dear friend! Can you just add to the first two words that I am also selling my car (Zhigyli) and it is in a great condition and looks brand new!
A Georgian brought his son to the sea, because his son has never seen an ocean before. So, they are standing on the seacoast talking. See, my son, this is a sea! Where is it? - Asked the little boy! Right in front of you, my son! -Replies the father. Where is it? I can't see? - Implies the little boy. Here, here it is (pointing right in front of himself) Where? Here, here, here! (the father grabs his boy and wets him with the water) Hey daddy! What was it? It was the sea! - Where?
(editado)
An American, a Russian, and an Estonian are riding in the same compartment in a train. The American takes out a pack of cigarettes, offers one to the others, and then throws the rest of the pack out the window.
“What did you do that for?” exclaim both the Russian and the Estonian.
“Ah, in America we have so many cigarettes…,” replies the American.
After a while the Russian takes out a bottle of vodka, offers it all around, and then throws the rest of the vodka out the window.
“What did you do that for?” ask the American and the Estonian.
“Oh, in Russia, we have so much vodka…,” replies the Russian.
Time goes by, and the Estonian sits in deep thought.
Finally he throws the Russian out the window.
“What did you do that for?” exclaim both the Russian and the Estonian.
“Ah, in America we have so many cigarettes…,” replies the American.
After a while the Russian takes out a bottle of vodka, offers it all around, and then throws the rest of the vodka out the window.
“What did you do that for?” ask the American and the Estonian.
“Oh, in Russia, we have so much vodka…,” replies the Russian.
Time goes by, and the Estonian sits in deep thought.
Finally he throws the Russian out the window.
LOL, thats a great one!
and PAGE 100 WELL DONE JOKERS!
and PAGE 100 WELL DONE JOKERS!
just heard a joke from Eddie Murhy( Delirious 1983) :
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says: - Excuse me, do you have problems with shits sticking to your fur? And the rabbit says : No! So the bear whiped his ass with the rabbit :)
ofc its better to hear it not read...
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says: - Excuse me, do you have problems with shits sticking to your fur? And the rabbit says : No! So the bear whiped his ass with the rabbit :)
ofc its better to hear it not read...
* Before he got into football, Robert Green was a bus driver. But he got fired because he couldn't make any stops.
* Why is Robert Green like ITV HD? They both switch off at the crucial moment.
* Yesterday at London Zoo one of the staff let a a Central American monkey slip out of his grasp. So Robert Green's not the only English keeper to drop a Howler.
* What does Robert Green do after winning the World Cup? Drops his controller.
* Robert Green has just been refused a Savings Account in his Local Bank
* At least that's one British spillage the Americans won't be moaning about...
* All these Rob Green jokes are getting out of hand...In fact they're crossing the line
* Kermit was right: It's not easy being Green.
* The England lads had a get-together after the game and bought Robert Green a drink to commiserate. He spilled it.
* Steven Gerrard said: "The whole team is behind Rob Green." With hindsight, that's a good place to stand.
* My computer's got the Robert Green virus. It can't save anything.
* Why is Robert Green like ITV HD? They both switch off at the crucial moment.
* Yesterday at London Zoo one of the staff let a a Central American monkey slip out of his grasp. So Robert Green's not the only English keeper to drop a Howler.
* What does Robert Green do after winning the World Cup? Drops his controller.
* Robert Green has just been refused a Savings Account in his Local Bank
* At least that's one British spillage the Americans won't be moaning about...
* All these Rob Green jokes are getting out of hand...In fact they're crossing the line
* Kermit was right: It's not easy being Green.
* The England lads had a get-together after the game and bought Robert Green a drink to commiserate. He spilled it.
* Steven Gerrard said: "The whole team is behind Rob Green." With hindsight, that's a good place to stand.
* My computer's got the Robert Green virus. It can't save anything.
I just heard on the radio that Robert Green had extra training yesterday. He had 4,000 shots at him and he never let in a goal.
Today he and Heskey will join the rest of the squad
Today he and Heskey will join the rest of the squad