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Asunto: Jokes
get in! we have made an ok joke into an amazing joke :)
Oxo have released a new cube to commemorate England's World Cup Performance!
It's called "Laughing Stock"
Although I am part English I find this hilarious :)
It's called "Laughing Stock"
Although I am part English I find this hilarious :)
a new version of software has been anounced, though it dosent save any files
A van driver used to amuse himself by running over ........
lol :D
lol :D
just read this joke in Romanian :)))
C.Ronaldo: I was send by God to show to the humanity how football is being played.
Messi's answer: I didn't send anyone
:))
C.Ronaldo: I was send by God to show to the humanity how football is being played.
Messi's answer: I didn't send anyone
:))
After match Frank Lampard goes to referee and ask "you really didn´t see the goal?". "Nein" replies ref :)
FIFA has decided that girls should be goalkeepers for the World Cup, because no matter how wide they open, they never let the balls go in!
i hope this joke isn`t to offensive for girls round here:)
(editado)
i hope this joke isn`t to offensive for girls round here:)
(editado)
40+ year-old lady comes and asks the cosmetic surgeon for a skin lift.
The surgeon offers her - "Madam, May I offer you my new invention ?"
"What invention ?" , Asks the lady
The surgeon replies - "I invented a spring with a key that transplanting in the neck, and every time you want to stretch the skin, you turn the key only once and the skin will stretch"
The woman readily agreed, and the surgeon install the spring and gives her a key.
Two weeks later the woman calls and says to the surgeon - "Doctor, why didn't you warned me about the severe side effects of it?"
"What happened Madam?" Ask the surgeon
And the lady says - "Last night I stretched the spring a few times and this morning I got up with a beard"!
(editado)
The surgeon offers her - "Madam, May I offer you my new invention ?"
"What invention ?" , Asks the lady
The surgeon replies - "I invented a spring with a key that transplanting in the neck, and every time you want to stretch the skin, you turn the key only once and the skin will stretch"
The woman readily agreed, and the surgeon install the spring and gives her a key.
Two weeks later the woman calls and says to the surgeon - "Doctor, why didn't you warned me about the severe side effects of it?"
"What happened Madam?" Ask the surgeon
And the lady says - "Last night I stretched the spring a few times and this morning I got up with a beard"!
(editado)
One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself.
The Lord says to the cat,
"You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let me know."
The cat thinks for a moment and says,
"Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wood floor."
The Lord stops the cat and says,
"Say no more" and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later 6 mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and went to Heaven. Again the Lord is there to great them with the same offer. The mice answered,
"All our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. We are tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?"
The Lord says,
"Say no more," and fits each mouse with a beautiful pair of roller skates.
About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things going since you have been here?"
The cat stretches, yawns, and replies,
"It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those Meals On Wheels you have been sending by are the best!"
The Lord says to the cat,
"You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let me know."
The cat thinks for a moment and says,
"Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wood floor."
The Lord stops the cat and says,
"Say no more" and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later 6 mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and went to Heaven. Again the Lord is there to great them with the same offer. The mice answered,
"All our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. We are tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?"
The Lord says,
"Say no more," and fits each mouse with a beautiful pair of roller skates.
About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things going since you have been here?"
The cat stretches, yawns, and replies,
"It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those Meals On Wheels you have been sending by are the best!"