Asunto: »[NON-NT]Nanook

I had to google Orchitis and now I wish I hadn't.

Despite Uriah's warning, I, too, had to google Ochitis. Fortunately, I avoided seeing any pictures of this ghastly disorder but read a quick description on wiki. Even at that, I don't think I'm a better person because of this new information. Thanks Jon.

Jon, with Orchitis, FTW.

First off, I think have put forth a pretty good argument as to why Jon is not the best candidate, but something I was thinking about yesterday is that over the last 3 seasons, I have seen teams fight their way into ML (Quietus, Long Island Pronghorns, Bronson, and maybe others) only to be quietly ushered back to A-league. Jon has been a mainstay not just in ML, but in the top 3 of ML. Also worth noting, is that Jon consistently finishes ahead of Dio every season, no offense to Dio.

Ok, next, the funny thing is that I never officially announced my candidacy for the Non-NT position. I was just asking some tough questions and before I knew it, people were supporting my Non-NT candidacy. It's interesting that Jon has been running unchallenged all these years and maybe people have been secretly hoping for someone to come out and challenge Jon. I'll be honest that my campaign has been very one-sided. I have only presented negative arguments (although good ones) as to why Jon should not be Non-NT manager. Jon is right that my platform has been rather weak. The fact that I have received so much support on virtually no platform whatsoever speaks volumes.

As a side note, let me say that I would prefer to put my candidacy credentials on the same thread as Jon's as it doesn't seem right for the USA Association to have as many Non-NT threads as NT threads. Ok, so let me tell you what I can and cannot offer as Non-NT manager.
What I can offer:
-Obviously, as Non-NT manager, I would be precluded from running for the NT manager position thus saving the USA NT from 15 weeks of straight losses and by extension saving our ranking from plummeting to the 3rd pot.
-As an inexperienced tactician who is still learning the ropes (unlike my esteemed opponent who despite his protests has at a minimum seen about every tactic in the book) it is with great relief to you all that as Non-NT manager, any tactical advice I would give either in the forums or via SK mail would be disregarded with disgust thus saving the NT from embarrassing losses.
-With a Non-NT manager experience on my resume, you could assure yourselves that I would come at a big disadvantage should I ever decide to attempt a NT candidacy so in one non-vote you can help secure the fortunes of the USA NT for generations to come.

What I cannot offer:
-I will not exploit the virtues of Chuck Norris to enhance my own popularity.
-I will not ask inane questions with little or no purpose.
-I am unable, do to my extreme lack of creativity, to burden you with silly things I will do to the NT squad should I not get voted as NT manager.

In conclusion, let me state that my talent as manager is at such an exceedingly abysmal state, that I would not have to torture the NT players with spandex or spiked heels in order to lose in such devastating manners. My absolute lack of knowledge regarding tactics and even my inability to pick talented players would abolish any chance of success we would have. Thank you for your time and I hope to have your non-support!
(editado)

If you have Orchitis you are definitely not a winner, no sir.

I am interpreting his comment to mean that because I made Orchitis part of my campaign not to be elected NT coach, I won by thunderous acclimation.

this.

Oh reading comprehension was never a talent over here, but if he did have Orchitis he would get my sympathy vote.

First, I can choose to interpret your comment to be unambiguous support. I'm politicking, so I'm allowed to be disingenuous. Second, I believe simply bringing Orchitis to the table give me a just claim on the non-NT Coach role I am so clearly suited for.

I'm almost positive you have my full non-support.

Your local resident mod dio-nisio has accused you of running a joke thread. What is your response to that?

(I would never do such a thing I know how serious this matter is!)

As this has been, and continues to be, the longest running official non-candidacy of any kind, I will choose to renew my non-support for this non-campaign.

I am absolutely appalled that anyone would believe that this is a joke thread. Given my end-of-season tragedies last season, it is CLEAR that I am not appropriate to run the NT. How DARE Dio suggest otherwise?

I will be coming out with new platform planks shortly. They will be splintery and warped, as befits my lack of ability.

I appreciate the recognition of the continuity involved in maintaining non-candidacy for years. It is hard to be so consistent.

It is very hard to be so consistent. Therefore, I find it quite worthy of my continued non-support.

I have made a lifetime of non-support for jon, so i will continue to avoid supporting him to the ultimate.

Therefore, i loudly and consistently vote for his non-candidacy.