Asunto: »[NON-NT]Nanook

I have made a lifetime of non-support for jon, so i will continue to avoid supporting him to the ultimate.

Therefore, i loudly and consistently vote for his non-candidacy.

You fart loudly too.

Speaking of farting, I plan on feeding all fans baked beans in the NT stadium. That way we can parade them behind the bench of the foreign teams, have them pass wind, and light the methane emissions on fire, thereby torching our opponents. The third degree burns on their a$$es will almost certainly impede the quality of their play significantly.

I just realized that I have not publicized my non-candidacy for some time. First, I apologize for the oversight. I know that my return to the ML has certainly inspired a significant portion of the US user community to wonder "Will Nanook ever take over the reins of the team, making the US National Team triumphant and nicely dressed, all at the same time?"

Well, the answer is "No." I will not. I have many new strategeries to share about why I am not qualified to be the NT coach. I shall not offer them until someone out there nominates me for non-coach.

Well?

Anyone????

*cricketts*

I continue my support for your non-candidature.

HOOOOORAY! I second the nomination that I am not appropriate to coach the team. Here's another reason why.

I am green, you see. Love the environment. Worried about the future. Try to conserve as much as I can. Yadda yadda. The tremendous visionary zeal that I use to protect our Mother Earth will be brought to bear on the NT as well. It is only appropriate, you see, for them to live what I will preach. As a result....

We will not shower. Yes, I will forbid all personal hygiene. This masterstroke will have two impacts:

1) There is a water shortage. Didn't you all know about that part?
2) Chemicals leeching into the environment can't be good, right?
3) Have you ever been next to an unfortunate person in a subway or other public location who is not economically able to clean themselves, well, ever? You know, homeless folks who don't have access to showers (or perhaps even toilet paper)? Well, what's your first instinct? To hang out there longer, or potentially get even closer, or to find somewhere else to be? Ok, so here's the plan. WE don't shower either. How could those pesky Poles or rude Russians or nervous Netherlanders possibly say to themselves "Well, let me use my superior Pace and Technical tackling skills to try to take the ball away from aging Jed Banda (who would smell like armpit) or Mac Bogans (who would smell in honor of his name like stinky cheese)?

Right! They won't! They'll shy away, asking their flustered coaches to take them out of the game. We'll win matches by default because our "opponents" will find us malodorous and hence unplayable.

DO NOT VOTE FOR ME!

glad thatyou non-candidature worked

Hmmm interesting. I'm actually liking that theory! I'm leaning towards wanting to vote for you. Should I be worried? Am I going insane? Should I go to the doctor perhaps? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Congratulations! You are the longest running non-candidate to hold this position...indeed, the only candidate. In fact, such has been the success of your campaigns that no one can overcome your non-platform. You have completely befuddled the opposition at every turn, and nonsensically confused all comers. Truely the depth of your non-program for your non-candidacy is beyond compare.
(editado)

I sincerely appreciate the nearly kind words of commendation. Having emerged victorious yet again, I will be recusing myself to my Secret Lair for Strategary (SLS for short) to develop my philosophies and generally contemplate how wondrous my inability is for the next few months. I shall emerge anon and convince you all yet further that I am not qualified to lead the National Team next season.

Hi Ho The Dairy-o!

Hi guys,

I'm MrLlama...I was wondering where I sign up to run for non-NT coach next season?

People won't believe you, just like the good old days.

lololololol that had me rolling,

ohhh what great times those were.

haha +1

Mr-Llama - I welcome the challenge. There is no doubt that the denizens of Sokker-Ville believe that I am WAY less qualified to be NT Coach than you. Bring it on, bubbaleh.

Honestly, I'm questioning whether your are the most qualified, unqualified candidate for the job now...